Tuesday, March 23, 2010

The Heated Debate

You might have seen quite the snippy comment on my Facebook post.  I shared the response with my Webkins and received a variety of responses.  So felt like as moms they felt they couldn't post everything they wanted to because they didn't want to offend those TTC.  Others felt that they love to post about their kids and read everyday how their friends potty training went.  Others who have been TTC felt like it is really hard to keep seeing pregnancy annoucements when they don't know when or if they will ever be pregnant. 

On my blog, I did an informal poll, (I realize this is not statistically significant), about the subject.  I asked, "Do you avoid certain social situations or Facebook because of so much chatter about babies and pregnancy?".  At the time of publishing this 84% said they either do or sometimes do avoid social situations or Facebook.

When discussing with my webkins, it reminded me of me being in college.  Freshman year, all the girls on my hall rushed.  It is almost unheard of not to get offered membership to any of the thirteen sororities.  Well my roommate was the ONLY person who didn't get asked to be in a house.  I felt so awful for her that I downplayed my interest in being in a house because I wanted to spare her feelings.  As a result, I never really embraced being in a sorority.  Looking back, I probably should have put more of an effort into it, but I just felt so sad for my friend. 

So while the anonymous poster on my blog post things I am such an awful friend and don't need enemies, I feel like I am trying to be empathetic to people who are struggling with infertility.

That said, being pregnant, I don't get upset at all at posts.  And even before, I never got upset seeing pictures of babies that were already here.  It was really a pregnancy thing, because it just highlighted to me that I may never have a baby.  I comment at least once a day on someone's post about their kids. Nonetheless, before this pregnancy, I would always keep up with my pregnant friends, asking how they felt and were preparing for pregnancy.

This point the post was that sometimes people are in their own world and don't realize that going on about their child can make someone else feel bad.  So take a break from it if you need to or trust that you will one day be pregnant and doing the same thing.

I still stand by that some posts are absolutely absurb and are so personal they should be saved for your spouse and  maybe your closest friends and family.

As for me, I don't know how I will respond once my little guy is here.  I don't know if I will post anything else pregnancy related.  I definitely will announce his birth.  I would like to put up pictures although not so sure my husband is comfortable with that.  Maybe I will post about being sleep deprived or his first intentional smile.  But I will be cognizant that there are FB friends of mine that are trying desperately to get pregnant.

1 comment:

  1. You're very kind to think of others' feelings. I don't know you, but have started checking your blog every week or so... you are just so kind to those of us TTC. But remember to also really enjoy your pregnancy - you can be kind and compassionate to those of us still trying while plainly being excited about your success!

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