Sunday, November 22, 2009

Being Out Is In

One of my husband's friends for years has been asking to be present in the delivery room. Sounds like an odd request? Well it is. But his reasoning is he wants to see the size of the baby's head, given my husband comes from a long line of large-headed men. Luckily my husband's bean resembles his mom's side. He also adds that he is a doctor so it is okay if he is there. Clearly I have never taken this request seriously, but he has been asking for about 10 years.

Last night at dinner he point blank asked me if I had been given the green light to try to conceive again. It was nice to be able to honestly answer yes, and not feel weird or like it is some big secret. I cut him off as he was asking his second question, when I quickly add, "and no, you can't be in the delivery room". Foiled again.

Later in the night I was talking to another of my husband's friend about my reflexologist. He want going to see her because of some chronic pain. I asked why he didn't end up going since he had been very interested. Someone else jumped in and asked why I had a reflexologist and I just said, the fibroid/miscarriage thing.

These questions would have sent me into a tizzy 6 months ago. But I have to say being open was way more refreshing and didn't make me uncomfortable.

Coming into the holiday season, I think we might all be faced with some inappropriate or way too personal questions. I will never forget going home one time and my aunt's mom, who has the most adorable Cuban accent, loudly lamented, "Why you have no baby? Next time you come, you bring me the baby!" She was dead serious. Not that this is out of character. Years ago, when I had been dating my now husband for years and years without a ring she woefully chanted in her melodic cadence,"Why you no married, it's time, no?" I said, throwing my cousin under the bus,"Why don't you ask Mikey, he doesn't even have a girlfriend." She stops, thinks, slaps him on the chest and confesses, "Him, I don't worry about, you, I worry".

People just want to the best for us, but sometimes these questions just echo the ones we have in our heads. I guess we should all be thankful that we have people in our lives that care enough to ask the inappropriate question or two. Tact would be nice too, but we can't get greedy.

Monday, November 2, 2009

Doing anything it takes- hilarious

Someone posted this on and it cracked me up. When you read things like this, don't you feel like you are handling TTC like a rational champ?

Apparently, on Craig's list, they have a best of section. This is one very aggressive TTCer. I respect it and the ice cream sounds enticing.

seeking menstruating short-term friend - w4w

Hi there. I am looking for a friend one who is currently or will soon be on her period. Mine is two weeks late and, while I know I'm not pregnant, I would like to kick-start mine to get back on my normal, lovely schedule. I would prefer it if you have a history of being dominant in these matters (i.e. do you have a history of setting other women's cycles?) so the chances are maximized. Must be willing to spend lots of time in a somewhat small space with me (we can watch cheesy romantic comedies in my walk in closet. or... maybe the living room) so the pheromones (that is the leading theory for why this works, right?) are sure to, uh, transfer (or whatever they do). And if you happen to know a bunch of other women who're also menstruatin', bring them too.

And I know it's hot, so I'm offering to provide as much haagen dazs as it takes to make it through the heat.

Harmful or Helpful

As the saying goes, information is power. But is too much information going to drive you crazy? I feel like I have learned everything there is about conception, miscarriages, Luteal Phase Defect and more from members on sites like

At different times during this past year and a half, my husband has asked if it is really a good idea for me to spend so much time on these sites. I always defended them vehemently saying it isn't easy to get pregnant and it is helpful to learn as much as I can. Also, I never would have known what Luteal Phase Defect was and my OB sure didn't diagnose me, so now I am being treated for that.

But there are things I have learned that have added anxiety. Like what I refer to as symptom stalk. People will be 3 hours past ovulation and write they are nauseous and must be pregnant. This makes me batty because I might be 12dpo and feeling nothing. And the implantation spotting, don't get me started on how it seems everyone in the world has that pregnancy sign but me. I started to feel that either the people on that site are exponentially more in touch with their bodies than I am, are reading into nothing, or I don't have a shot of being pregnant.

So in these situations, I feel like this information overload gets the best of me.

After the miscarriages, I found I needed a break from it, and signed off for a couple months. Which tells me that not all interactions with these sites are positive.

What's your take on it? Have you ever needed a break from these social networking sites?