Can I be Breezy?

My good friend from grad school introduced me to the term "breezy".  As in, "Do you think he is going to call you." To which she would respond, "I am not going to worry about it, I am trying to be breezy," as she slyly glances down to see if her phone forgot to ring and she had a missed call from the man being discussed.  Well for her, a man, a good one at that, did call back and she was married last year after being "breezy" about getting engaged.  And now, with that same breezy attitude, she is taking a stab at getting pregnant.

We met for lunch this week and I asked when she was testing and she said she wasn't sure, in a couple weeks, she wasn't tracking her cycle.  Of course, on account of her being breezy.  This is so antithetical to everything I stand for, I rudely retorted, "You are not 16 in the back of a '67 Chevy, you need to do some planning here!" We are super close, so I can say this sort of thing to her.

And so the reality dons on me, that I don't think I can breezily try for baby number two.  I kind of thought I could take things as they come.  However, I was speaking to a friend who went through several rounds of IVF to have her daughter.  Since it was such a struggle, they "aren't preventing".  Yet every month, she starts to feel nervous during the TWW and gets disappointed when she isn't pregnant, even though she isn't fully trying yet.

Part of me thinks, no matter what happens in TTC a second child, I am a mom and love being one, and we could be happy as a family of three.  Then reality seeps in and makes me realize I might be internally a fertility freak again, living by the reading on my monitor and waking everyday at same early morning minute to get an accurate temp reading.

I think it is fair to say I don't wear breezy well.