I have to admit, I was offended. At dinner last Saturday, a friend of my husband's asked if I complained a lot and was emotional over nothing being pregnant. My charming husband basically said yes. I got pissed. I rarely complain and I don't think I have had one emotional outburst related to pregnancy. He admitted I don't complain much but do say I am uncomfortable a lot. I shield him from about 90% of the weird things that have transpired over the last nine months. He admitted I could be a lot worse. I feel like he has no idea, but I let it go.
So not 24 hours after said conversation, I was sitting on my bed putting together an iTunes playlist for while I am laboring at the hospital, I find myself on the verge of tears. Greg comes in the room and makes small talk, but I feel like if I spoke my tear ducts would betray me. He asks, "why are you so quiet?" I said, "I don't know, I just feel emotional." He asked if it was the song. I laughed said no and then busted out crying. Both of us were taken aback, since this is really abnormal for me.
On one hand, I felt sad that I wouldn't be pregnant for very long. I will miss it. Check back with me in two weeks on this emotion, but for now, I love feeling the baby in my belly. And he is so easy. We go everywhere together. Also, being pregnant is all-consuming. Everything you do or don't do is baby related. What you eat, what you lift, places you go, invitations you decline. Then came the fear of child birth. I know he has to come out and I know centuries of women have done it before me. That's great for them, but I am apprehensive and don't know what to expect. Given the agony of my false labor a couple nights prior, I started doubting my threshold for pain. Next I started thinking about how long it has been since I found out I was pregnant. At conception, he was the size of a pen point and now he is about 7 pounds. I started thinking how long ago it was the first time I saw him on a ultrasound and the sheer relief I felt to see his little heart flutter, or how it felt like a million years ago, that I went price gun crazy registering at Buy Buy Baby with my mom in Florida.
My better half helped me reel in my craziness, although he is less than sympathetic about being nervous about childbirth. The rest of my meltdown, he handled like a champ. And he was smart enough not to have a boastful moment about his declaration the previous night about me being overly emotional.
This week, I continue to focus on nesting, cleaning things that have been sorely ignored. I also have been spending a lot of time sitting in his room reading or talking on the phone.
As far as progress, not making much. Still 1 cm, no change from the last two weeks. I technically have 2.5 weeks to go.
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