Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Where the Kid has No Name

If you haven't put it together yet, I am a planner of the highest order. I haven't met a checklist that I didn't love.

When I was trying to conceive, I had pages of estimated ovulation dates, I planned trips to accomodate my cycle, and systematically bugged my husband to make me a baby, all according to the plan. And guess what, the plan worked (eventually).

Once pregnant, I put together a check list of month by month what I needed to do to prepare for the baby. Items included paint room, have closet organizers installed, order furniture, buy must have items, meet the pediatrician, and so on.

One thing I failed to put on the list was name the child. Everything on the list are things I can do myself.  And right on cue, they are being checked off on time or earlier. But things that involve my better half are yet to be done.

The biggest one is the name. I only have 11 weeks left if I make it to 40 weeks.  We started talking about names in Italy when I was around 4 weeks.  We got to a point where we just argued about it and we decided to table it until we knew the sex.  So that was December.  Okay it is now April and my sweet little guy may be called "the baby" for the rest of his life. What a horrible moniker for a boy, notwithstanding all the "no one puts baby in the corner" jokes he will have to endure, when some creative Hollywood Exec has the brilliant idea of filiming a second  remake of the classic Dirty Dancing, which will no doubt happen during his gawky middle school period.

My husband doesn't understand the urgency. I guess it is two things.  One, I hate living under a cloud of indecision.  I am a very decisive person.  He is more of a hem and hawer.  He likes things to marinate. This has been an issue before when making big purchases like a house or a car.  He wants time, not that he does anything in that time like research, just idle time to pass.  I do my research up front and then want a decision ASAP. I am not the most patient person when I want something. Bottomline, I just wanna to know his name already (should be read with the whining tone in which it was intended).

I also need the name for his going home outfit. I saw this really cute footed outfit from Restoration Hardware Baby and Child (where his linens and rug are from).  It is the same color as the stuff in his room and you can get the baby's monogram on it.  I have envisioned taking him home in this sweet little get up for months.  Well you have to allow time for processing, monogramming, and shipping.  Who knows when I will go into labor and I need that outfit in my hospital bag ready to go.  And no, I am not that crazy, bag isn't packed yet.   Waiting until May, and yes it is on the checklist.

The next unchecked item on our joint to-do list is to create a plan for what happens when the baby gets here in terms of hospital visitors and help once we are home. He doesn't see why we need to figure this out now.  While on one hand, we will have to play some things by ear, some planning is needed to avoid hurt feelings (like I don't want his parents to sit in the room all day like they did with his brother's wife). She was very uncomfortable and wishes she had said something and I know from my surgery, I didn't rest when visitors were there because I felt  like I need to entertain.  So if we tell family to come a couple hours each day, but not all day beforehand, it isn't like we need to kick them out.  Also, we need a bit of planning because my parents live out of town and I doubt I am going to want to be deciding how long they should come for in the midst of contractions.  

I do wish I could be looser about this but it really makes me anxious.  If anyone has any advice on these issue, I am all ears.

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