Well that didn't go as planned.

Back from the doctor's office. She came in and looked at the incision and said it looks good.

I mustered up the nerve to confront her on the progesterone issue. She said, studies show that it doesn't do anything. And I said well I have friends that have had 3 miscarriages and then they take it and have healthy babies. She said, and they would have been fine without it. I said my friend was spotting for days and took it and now she is fine and she said and your friend would have been fine and the spotting would have gone away on its own.

I asked can't you budge on this, it makes me so nervous. She didn't budge. So then I mentioned the fertility doctor said people with luteal issues might need it and my LP has been bad since last year. She said I think it is good idea if you set up an appointment with her. She can look into the luteal phase issues.

A minute later she something about clomid. So I should, well should I just forgo trying on my own and go straight to clomid? She smiled and said, I think you need to speak to the fertility doctor. I asked who would be doing my next HSG and she said either one of us can.

I've been dumped. She wasn't pissy. She said if I had trouble getting an appointment call her and she would make a call to get me in right away. She told me what to do to get my file copied. And she was like, "alright my dear, I will see you in 4 weeks." Oh also I said who would be my doctor if I got pregnant (since I was being dumped) and she said the fertility doctor would monitor me for a while.

I set up the fertility appointment for next Thursday morning. I asked the doctor if I would be starting back at square one and she said now they will have your file.

I feel a bit defeated by this. It makes me think I can't do this on my own, that nobody thinks the fibroid was an issue at all and I have even more fertility problems than the mutant fibroid.

I feel like crying (which is out of character for me) and the Noah Wylie commercial with the endangered polar bear didn't help at all.

The Frustrating Update

After all the testing, including the HSG, my OB had concluded that reason for my miscarriages was this mutant fibroid growing within me. Even though it meant a big surgery, I was looking forward to getting it out and on with my life.

Before my doctor would tell me the game plan, she said she wanted to review my information with a fertility doctor, just to make sure that they were in accord.

My doctor called me a few nights ago and said the fertility doctor said the fibroid wasn't my problem, because the babies would have been too small to be crowded by the fibroid. But I would still need to get it out because a full term baby wouldn't survive.

So I asked her what my problem was then, since I have tested negative for every ailment they have screened for. She said well if the egg implanted in the exact spot of the uterus that has the fibroid it would be my problem. Otherwise there is also bad luck (or something yet to be discovered). She reiterated that normally they don't do all this testing unless you have three miscarriages, and I have only had two. She said there is a reason for that, because it is so common.

Regardless, along with other weird cycle symptoms I had, I was sure it was the fibroid. I got off the phone with the doctor and called my best friend. She made a good point, she said look up how big a normal uterus it is. Google hooked me up with that info-8cm x 4 or 5cm. Well my fibroid is 8cm by 10cm. So twice as big. By the transitive property that I loosely remember from 9th grade geometry, that means, there is a good chance the union (area where fibroid and uterus overlap) might be fairly large and therefore not crazy to think the egg implanted in this area.

So now the fertility doctor wants me to get an MRI to get even another picture of the fibroid (add to 2 different ultrasound visits and an HSG). I am doing that Monday. They are trying to determine if I am a candidate for the Da Vinci surgery (you might know this surgery-assisting robot from the season finale of Grey's Anatomy).

All in all, this is pretty bad news, because now we don't know this is my problem or going to solve any problems.