Being Out Is In

One of my husband's friends for years has been asking to be present in the delivery room. Sounds like an odd request? Well it is. But his reasoning is he wants to see the size of the baby's head, given my husband comes from a long line of large-headed men. Luckily my husband's bean resembles his mom's side. He also adds that he is a doctor so it is okay if he is there. Clearly I have never taken this request seriously, but he has been asking for about 10 years.

Last night at dinner he point blank asked me if I had been given the green light to try to conceive again. It was nice to be able to honestly answer yes, and not feel weird or like it is some big secret. I cut him off as he was asking his second question, when I quickly add, "and no, you can't be in the delivery room". Foiled again.

Later in the night I was talking to another of my husband's friend about my reflexologist. He want going to see her because of some chronic pain. I asked why he didn't end up going since he had been very interested. Someone else jumped in and asked why I had a reflexologist and I just said, the fibroid/miscarriage thing.

These questions would have sent me into a tizzy 6 months ago. But I have to say being open was way more refreshing and didn't make me uncomfortable.

Coming into the holiday season, I think we might all be faced with some inappropriate or way too personal questions. I will never forget going home one time and my aunt's mom, who has the most adorable Cuban accent, loudly lamented, "Why you have no baby? Next time you come, you bring me the baby!" She was dead serious. Not that this is out of character. Years ago, when I had been dating my now husband for years and years without a ring she woefully chanted in her melodic cadence,"Why you no married, it's time, no?" I said, throwing my cousin under the bus,"Why don't you ask Mikey, he doesn't even have a girlfriend." She stops, thinks, slaps him on the chest and confesses, "Him, I don't worry about, you, I worry".

People just want to the best for us, but sometimes these questions just echo the ones we have in our heads. I guess we should all be thankful that we have people in our lives that care enough to ask the inappropriate question or two. Tact would be nice too, but we can't get greedy.

Doing anything it takes- hilarious

Someone posted this on babycenter.com and it cracked me up. When you read things like this, don't you feel like you are handling TTC like a rational champ?

Apparently, on Craig's list, they have a best of section. This is one very aggressive TTCer. I respect it and the ice cream sounds enticing.


seeking menstruating short-term friend - w4w

Hi there. I am looking for a friend one who is currently or will soon be on her period. Mine is two weeks late and, while I know I'm not pregnant, I would like to kick-start mine to get back on my normal, lovely schedule. I would prefer it if you have a history of being dominant in these matters (i.e. do you have a history of setting other women's cycles?) so the chances are maximized. Must be willing to spend lots of time in a somewhat small space with me (we can watch cheesy romantic comedies in my walk in closet. or... maybe the living room) so the pheromones (that is the leading theory for why this works, right?) are sure to, uh, transfer (or whatever they do). And if you happen to know a bunch of other women who're also menstruatin', bring them too.

And I know it's hot, so I'm offering to provide as much haagen dazs as it takes to make it through the heat.

Harmful or Helpful

As the saying goes, information is power. But is too much information going to drive you crazy? I feel like I have learned everything there is about conception, miscarriages, Luteal Phase Defect and more from members on sites like http://www.babycenter.com/.

At different times during this past year and a half, my husband has asked if it is really a good idea for me to spend so much time on these sites. I always defended them vehemently saying it isn't easy to get pregnant and it is helpful to learn as much as I can. Also, I never would have known what Luteal Phase Defect was and my OB sure didn't diagnose me, so now I am being treated for that.

But there are things I have learned that have added anxiety. Like what I refer to as symptom stalk. People will be 3 hours past ovulation and write they are nauseous and must be pregnant. This makes me batty because I might be 12dpo and feeling nothing. And the implantation spotting, don't get me started on how it seems everyone in the world has that pregnancy sign but me. I started to feel that either the people on that site are exponentially more in touch with their bodies than I am, are reading into nothing, or I don't have a shot of being pregnant.

So in these situations, I feel like this information overload gets the best of me.

After the miscarriages, I found I needed a break from it, and signed off for a couple months. Which tells me that not all interactions with these sites are positive.

What's your take on it? Have you ever needed a break from these social networking sites?

Dodging Questions

If you are like me, and hopefully you aren't, 30 of your closest friends know you are trying. Now since people know (in my case I had surgery and multiple miscarriages, so it became pretty public), they feel they can constantly ask you if you are pregnant.

I think this needs a well-crafted response. It is easy when you aren't to say, "no" or something more self-pitying, like "yeah, right, like that would ever happen to me?". But you need to tread more carefully, because when you are in fact pregnant and not wanting to share, you feel like either you will have to fess up or lie. And then a part of me feels like a lie will doom the pregnancy.

Here are some ideas.
"That would be nice"
"From your lips"
"Did my mom put you up to this?"

What do you have in your arsenal?

H1N1=no fun

The media has done an outstanding job of scaring the bejesus out of any TTCer, expectant, or nursing mom. The controversy stems on an ingredient in the H1N1 vaccine-thimerosal. This ingredient contains a mercury preservative. While the medical community denounces that mercury leads to autism, Jenny McCarthy firmly believes it. Laughable right? But she managed to galvanize legions of paranoid women and frankly, it seems most of us will at least take pause before rolling up our sleeves.

I did a little investigation into this and the CDC and the American Congress of Obstetricians and Gynecologists both strongly recommend vaccination. In fact, on the ACOG website, they actually wrote out a script for OBs to tell their patients. This bothered me. I was hoping for an honest response from my doctor, but I feel I will get a canned answer. I actually have a call into my doctor to hear her take on the the H1N1 vaccine.

http://www.cdc.gov/h1n1flu/vaccination/pregnant_qa.htm http://www.acog.org/departments/dept_notice.cfm?recno=20&bulletin=4983

Because of the Jenny McCarthy army, they are in development of a vaccine without thirmerosal, so it wouldn't contain mercury for doses given to expectant moms and children. I think this is interesting since researchers say mercury doesn't lead to autism.

Here is what the medical community is saying. Pregnant women are at an exponentially higher risk of dying or having serious complications once they contract H1N1 the the general population. Also, infants can't take the medicine until 6 months, so they can at least get in in utero or through breast milk. The medicine is supposedly created the same way the seasonal flu shout is made every year.

I am leaning towards getting it but want to know if I can get the version without thirmerosal. You know, since I get all my medical advice from former Playboy playmates.

Back from Italy!

Italy was fantastic! I loved every single second of it and it was such a nice break from my constant TTC, over-active mind.

I completely abandoned my Atkins eating. What's a day without pizza and gelato? We walked so much I was able to justify it. In typical male fashion, my charming hubby lost 8 pounds. Who the heck goes to Italy, eats exclusively pizza and pasta and drinks way more than normal and loses 8 pounds? I didn't gain and thought I pulled off a major coup.

Venice was the most beautiful place I had ever seen in my whole life. We did a gondola ride which was the highlight of the trip for me.

What I always forget about when traveling abroad is the cigarette smoke. I have a theory that when a kid turns seven, they shove a cigarette in his mouth and give him a Vespa. I really want to do research on lung cancer rates in Italy, because if the research is true that cigarettes=lung cancer, and I have been raised to believe it is, their occurrence rates must be sky-high.

Even though a Furla store was directly across from my Florence hotel, taunting me with amazing handbags, I really didn't get anything but a belt at the leather mart. Greg bought a bunch of wine.

So what did I miss? Any BFPs?

My Own Personal Babymoon?

Today is the big day - we are leaving for what is hopefully our babymoon! 10 days in Italy (Florence, Venice and Rome). I have gotten tons of great advice, everything from where to eat to walk on the perimeter on St. Marks Square to steer clear of the legions of pigeons. My cousin said she was literally in tears dealing with the birds.


I won't be able to post while overseas. Feel free to send me comments/emails about topics/products you are interested in having me blog about.


I hope I return to many BFPs from my readers and a bambino on board of my own.


Will keep you posted!


Ciao,

Dana